Show Girls

This photo just fell out of an old journal I found. It is my brother, our friend Eric, and myself in 1988. On the back of the photo it says in my mom's writing "Show Girls." I eclair this the best photo EVER!

Window Shocking

Last night right when I was going to bed they had the search helicopters circling above and I heard the police on the loud speaker though I couldn't understand what they were saying. The helicopters had been circling for what seemed like an hour. From my bed there is a tiny crack in the blinds where I could see outside. Just a little 3/4" crack caused by my suitcase on the ground that snagged one of the plastic blinds to the side. Just when I was settling in I saw something slowly moving at the bottom of the window. It felt like my heart stopped only to start up again twice as strong. I laid still to make sure I wasn't imagining it but I saw it move again. I reached over for my phone I thought I left by my bed but my hand couldn't find it in the dark. I then jumped out of bed shut the crack in the blinds, found my phone, and made sure all the doors were locked. I had no idea what to do after that. It could have been anything outside. I didn't get a good look. I did think that if that shape by my window turned a little more an a human eye appeared that my heart at that point would just pound all the way through my ribs and out my chest. Thankfully nothing else happened but it is 12 hours later and I can still hear heliports, though farther away now.

No More

It hit me today. I have been eating Trader Joe's salads for about the last 4 years, approximately 4 a week. I don't think I can eat them anymore. Don't get me wrong, they are great but man have I burnt myself out. I feel like if I eat another one I will either cry or throw-up or maybe both at the same time. I need to figure out a healthy vegetable based alternatives. I once did the same thing with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I couldn't even look at them for 8 years. Tomorrow soup!

Oh I let my dirty laundry sit for too. Clean sheets and towels shouldn't be this mind numbingly amazing.

Creamy

Talking with someone my age the other day she was talking about the anti-wrinkle cream she uses. At first it seemed a bit early in life for that but then I started thinking maybe it is that time in life where one should start using it. I had always thought there would be a magical time in my life between acne cream and wrinkle cream but I guess they are going to cross over. I have not been blessed in the skin department. Hopefully the skin that has been making me breakout sense elementary school will at least use its oily magic to keep me looking younger. Is anyone else starting on a wrinkle cream? Any recommendations?

Too Schooled for Cool

Friday night with the ladies.

This is a Raid!

Delightful weekend and like promised last week I did not party it up on Sunday. On Friday night I went to Rachel's birthday. Saturday evening I headed down to San Pedro for The Great Los Angeles Air Raid with live 1940's music and dancing and a reenactment of the raid. It was so cool. Everyone there was really into it and so dressed up and fancy. I tried to pull an outfit together last minute but I think it was more 1950's then 40's. My story in my head was that I was just a very fashionable person from the 40's that was way ahead of my time haha. It was delightful. Then after that I headed to Terry's for her Stranger Danger themed party with tones of yummy food and fun. The next 2 weeks of work are going to be crazy. Deep breath before the week starts.

Making My Mark

I really need to buy new markers, mine are so old and dry.

The No Pants Dance

Went to Rachel's hipster themed party last night. I wasn't sure what to wear but I decided on a man's long sleeved button down shirt as a dress. I figure hipsters either wear very tight pants or the whole no pants look. I topped it off with a leather jacket and a fedora. I felt a bit silly walking to and from my car. I know whenever I see someone that is trying to pull off a top as a dress I always think 'That person forgot their pants.' On top of this it was raining last night. On my way back to my car 2 very attractive guys walk by me and smile and one tips his hat and kindly says "ma'am." It was so sweet and if I hadn't already been pantless he would have charmed the pants right off of me. Note to self, rock the pantsless look more often.

Wonderful

I just got this super awesome gift in the mail from my brother. It is Camille Rose Garcia's illustrated Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. I adore it!

Peace, Love, and Understanding

Next weekend no Sunday parties for me, I'm afraid to say I'm getting too old for it :( 2 weeks in a row with the Sunday party and I am a tired tired lady on Monday. I did have a great deal of fun last night at Aimee and Corinne's for Cake Party round 2. It is nice to have something totally fun to do on Valentine's day. On Saturday night I went to a night of Comedy fundraiser for Haiti. Great laughs, great bar, great cause. Over all it was a delightful weekend and I feel much better then I did last time I updated this blog.

Love Love Love

A Heart So Bent it Can't Break

What a day yesterday was. I woke to the news that Alexander McQueen committed suicide. It felt like being punched in the gut. I adore him as a designer and he has been my favorite designer sense I bought my first Vogue at 14 and they featured the work of a new very young designer, McQueen. I don't really know that much about him as a person but he inspired me to go into my chosen profession and has always delighted and amazed me with his work. It is so sad and I hope that he has found the peace that he couldn't find while alive.

Then at the end of the evening was a long very emotional talk and opening myself up to hearing things I didn't want to hear. I didn't get to bed till very late and got little sleep.

It is a new day and I plan to go forward with the life in the most fulfilling and enjoyable way that I can but I have to admit I am emotionally and physically exhausted and feel like my heart is awfully heavy.

Sealed With A Kiss

My mother was hiking out to an old shipwreck that is visible about once a year at our local beach. While there she found an abandoned baby elephant seal. She called Wildlife rescue and they came and got the adorable baby. How cute is he!?!?

The Biggest Lost Loser

So I decided to go ahead and keep up with the last season of Lost on hulu. Oh it is so good and I can't wait to see what happens next but after not having TV for many many years it is hard for me to watch 1 episode a week when I'm use to watching a season all at once on Netflix. I've also started watching The Biggest Loser on-line too. I haven't seen this much TV in a long while.

Week 1

Okay, like I said last Wednesday I would be doing a health improvement update each week (I'm not calling it a diet). For the most part I've been very good. I went to the gym every weekday after work for at least an hour and I packed my lunch everyday. I am feeling a lot more energized and happy. Okay, now for the guilt part. I went to Jen's on Saturday night and drank a few glasses of wine and she had such a yummy spread of food I might have over did it a bit. Oh dear, then there was Super Bowl Sunday with drinks and chips and dip and pizza and cupcakes. So all in all 1 pound lost. Not great but not terrible. I have to be extra good this week because I'm going to cake party on Sunday and I intend to sample all cakes :)

A Bowl Full of Jelly

Oh Super Bowl you have ruined my healthy goals (okay I was really watching The Puppy Bowl 99% of the time)! I ate like a piggy and drank like a fishy and now I am just too tired today to go to the gym. A remarkable accomplishment on the side of the Super Bowl considering I dislike football. Oh well, it was fun and as far as I know we only live once so onwards. Early to bed tonight so I have no excuses tomorrow.

Tonight there was a grand total of three trannys at the gym at one time, crazy! First there was the one that always gets next to me on the StairMaster that I've talked about on here before. The second is one of the aerobics instructors that is a black "lady" in her 40's that wears her hair in a big puff. The third is a new one that I barely spotted yesterday in an aerobics class. This one is the most obvious that I could tell from the moment I saw her from the back that she was a he. This third one is the most confusing of them all. She is older, I'd say early 60's with permed frizzy afro like hair and tan skin Caucasian. She just seems to wander around as if she accidental got stuck in a gym and doesn't really know what to do. Nothing about this ones movements or demeanor reads feminine, only clothing choice. I like all three of them better then 99% of the other gym goers.

In other news, I don't really like to talk about my relationships on here and I don't really intend to make such matters that available. I just want to say that right now I'm so fucking damn confused that I don't have a clue what to do. so so so confused

Fresh Start

I have been beating myself up the whole drive to work this morning. I am so mad at myself and a bit ashamed. For the the last month and a half I have been eating and drinking everything I want and have only gone to the gym a hand full of times. Well, I don't have the type of body that will let me get away with this behavior. So here is a little math for you, eating fatty food + many alcoholic beverages + little gym time + 1.5 months = 10lbs. BLAH! This is the biggest I've been in a few years. But I am not here to just beat myself up about it and sulk. I'm taking action starting today. My goal is to adjust my diet, limit my drinks to 2 a week, and go to the gym 5 days a week and a walk 1 day during the weekend. My goal is to lose this in less time then it took me to put it on. If anyone else has any other goals I'd love for you to join me with updates. It doesn't have to be weight loss goals, it could be any goal you want to set for yourself. I will be giving Wed. morning updates until I reach my 10 pound goal, even if I back slide. I'd love it if you joined me.

Rest Stop

There is an abandon sofa in front of my apartment complex, on the curb. I hope the city takes it away soon. It's not that I particularly mind it being there or that strange people wandering the streets use it to rest in. What I mind are the 2 drunk men sitting on it right now that couldn't just leave me be. They could just sit there and enjoy each others company and the beautiful night but instead they find it necessary to call me güera and hit on me while I fumble with my gate key and balance my groceries and gym bag in one hand. I don't really understand what they expect from me. I mean it's clear what they want from me but what do they really expect of me. I hope that sofa is gone soon.

Carry a Big Stick

I don't have a terribly loud voice, nor is it really soft either. I am not a timid talker but I am also not aggressive. One of my pet peeves that not only annoys me but I find incredibly hurtful are people that insist on talking over me. These are usually the type of people that over dominate a conversation to the point that it is just a monologue. Oh how it infuriates me! It happened to me today again. I was trying to join into the conversation but the person wouldn't let me talk at all. I would get two or three words out and then the other person would talk louder and over my words as they were coming out of my mouth. It is so disrespectful and makes you feel like you don't even matter. I haven't figured out what the solution to this is yet. It seems like a strange double dutch jumping in and out balance that I don't like playing.