shame shame shame

Oh Christ. Think about one of the worst things you can do in public. Yeah, I just did that at work. I should never have gone to work today.

Icy Hot

I've felt two seconds away from throwing-up all day, I kept a bag next to me on my drive home. Now I'm hot and cold all at once. Somewhere in my apartment the kitty peed and I smell it but I can't find it. I was looking forward to going to Dan's going away party tonight and can barely stand up so going is just not going to happen. I have no idea when I will see him again so that makes me sad. So in conclusion I want to throw-up and the smell of pee is not helping and I am not able to wish a friend farewell. Wow, today does not like me.

Pumpkin,Spice, and Everything Nice

I had a wonderful dinner last night at Bossa Nova with Lindsey. I ate the Havana sandwich which is caramelized bananas, melted monterey jack cheese, Mascarpone cheese, with a touch of cinnamon stuffed in a toasted Italian bread. It was so damn good and I am excited to eat the second half for lunch today. Lindsey brought over Elwood the kitty who spent the night with me. It was a truly lovely birthday dinner.

I woke up last night or this morning and looked to my side and was shocked to see a pumpkin laying next to my pillow. It was this perfect orange oval shape. I was so confused on why there was a pumpkin on my bed. Then I realized it was Elwood's fatty rump. I laughed so hard, I really did think it was a pumpkin.

Happy

I have to admit that a big reason I took the year off from celebrating my birthday is because I have had a less then fun time trying to plan a party the last few years and at times it felt like I was trying to force my birthday onto people. So I didn't really say anything about my birthday or make plans this year. It has made today nice. Just simple little well wishes and lovely flowers and a dinner seem so special. Sometimes taking in the little things are so nice.

A Month of Living Dangerously

I have been very much enjoying Doug's photos from his trip to Africa and I thought I'd share some of my favorites with you. These are probably not his favorites but this is my blog and I get to show my favorites. I have the clothes line shot as my desktop photo at work. It makes me feel peaceful.

If I Was a Dog This Would Be Me

Weekend War

I wanted to go see the new exhibit "Art of Two Germanys, Cold War Culture" at LACMA that opened today. Lucky for me Amanda and Lindsey wanted to join me. We also went to see the Vanity Fair photo exhibit. I should do a day at the museum more often.

Leaving the apartment seems like an impossible task today. Why sure, why not, another episode of my Netflix Lost, why not. Dear god won't someone please come over and kidnap me

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

'biscuit of today'

I read this silly little inspirational story a month or two ago and for some reason it just stuck with me. I am not one for inspirational readings or self help books or anything to do with chicken soup for your soul. No offense if you like those things, it is just not my thing. Let me paste the story here.

"I'm going to tell a story. It's about biscuits. Please bear with me. A Buddhist priest told me this story, about how he used to be the chief baker in his monastery. He tried to make the best biscuits he could make - fluffy, buttery, warm, delicious biscuits. But no matter what he did, the biscuits were never good enough. Too dry, or too moist, never quite right. He was getting very dissatisfied and upset with himself. Then, he realized that he was trying to capture the essence of the biscuits that he had as a child and that the biscuits he remembered were an idealized, unreal version. The reason his biscuits never tasted good enough is because they never could be, but only so long as he tried to capture the essence of an unreal, imagined perfect biscuit. When he realized this, he decided to make the 'biscuit of today' not the biscuit of the past. It was imperfect, unlike anything he remembered as a young child, but the most delicious biscuit he had ever had, because it simply WAS. It was not idealized or perfected, it was just itself. And it was perfect in its imperfections, because there was nothing else it could be. I think it is high time we all start being the biscuit of today."

Sometimes when things aren't going right I tell myself to just be the best biscuit I can. This is probably one of those things over time that I am going to continue to do and then one day forget why I'm calling myself biscuit in my head.

Around the Sun One More Time

It is less then a week away from my birthday. This year I have decided to take the year off from begging people to come celebrate my birth. I'm just not in a place right now for the humbling act. This year no party.

Work has been going good and I've been learning a lot. Everyday I just feel the ever growing urge to get rid of all my belongings and leave for some far off land.

Sing-A-Long

Still feeling a bit uncertain about life this weekend but managed to have a lovely time. On Friday night there was karaoke in a private room for Lindsey's birthday. Delightful. Last nights was the big Doug/Betsy/Ryan/Jared birthday party. I ended up not getting home till 3:30AM. There was a group of gross guys hanging out in front of an apartment close to mine. I knew it would be a problem walking by them at 3 in the morning as they were starting to perk up with little comments as I got closer. Basically they were saying I was hot and wanted a piece of my white girl ass. One of them told the others to be more respectful but when that didn't get a response from me he decided to start saying what he wanted to do to my "pink pussy." It was really horrible. Usually I let such things roll off of me but this time it was particularly aggressive and I didn't feel safe. After I got in and locked my door I proceeded to get so mad. I'm still mad and need to let it go.

Monkey Business

busy busy busy

I can not wait for my fun filled weekend to start after this first week of a new job. I haven't really had time to go to the gym this week and mentally I need it something awful.

Last night I went over to Doug's and Corrine and I both picked up our gifts he brought back from Africa. He had mentioned that he was going to spend New Years with monkeys on some African island. I was jealous and at the time joked for him to bring me back a monkey. Well, he brought me back a little wooden monkey and I just about died with the cute thoughtful gift. He also gave me some really awesome African fabrics and I can't wait to make something with them. I brought over these bubbles you can blow that have cat nip in them and his kitties went crazy and got so high off them. They are the prettiest kitties in the world.

Okay, back to work. Oh Friday please come soon!

The Good, The Bad, and The Yummy

My whole life I've disliked avocados and guacamole. I have heard nothing from people other then how crazy I am for this dislike, Then all of a sudden within the last few months I have found that I love them and they taste great. This is very strange indeed. I remember the taste of them when I didn't like them and the taste now and it is the same but now it registers as scrumptious in my head. I think someone replace my tongue in the middle of the night. Now excuse me while I go eat my life times worth of missed guacamole.

Detective Work

I was at a table today with 4 other people. Person 1 asks person 2 to photograph a small object at a few different angles and print out the photos. Person 2 comes back with the photo printouts. Person 1 looks at them and is confused by why the objects are much bigger in the photos then in real life. Everyone agrees that it is odd, and they need to be resized. I finally say "That is just how a camera works, you want a photocopy if you want to retain the same size of an object not a photo." Everyone looks confused and asks why that is. I explain "Well, if I took a photo of you and printed it out it wouldn't necessarily be the same size as you." Everyone understands and agrees that I am very smart. I now want to use this story in my resume as proof of my problem solving skills.

I am a mess today. I'll just picture myself laying in the grass in Iceland in the Spring.

Ride the Waves and Don't Ask Where they Go

It has been a tough day where the bad economy has finally reared its ugly head at work. I won't get into details here but I'm very unsure about my future right now. I tried to work it off at the gym but only managed a half hour before I admitted I just wasn't in the mood. On my drive home I witnessed the very resent aftermath of two different horrible car accidents. So, that is where life is right now.

On Vacation

Lindsey let me barrow her very wonderful book "Vacation" by Deb Olin Unferth. I was looking up the name of the author on-line and came across this very strange animated book trailer voiced by Maria Bamford.

Peace of Mind

I was going this doodle the other day and started to think that I should really try doing yoga again, I haven't in about 2 years. I remember feeling so at peace when I did it before and I could really use some calm and peace in my head right now. I took a class at my gym on Tuesday night. I couldn't do anything I remember being able to do before. I felt like a big blob and as stiff as a board all at once. It wasn't a very good class either and I didn't end up feeling anything when I left. I would like to find a class that gives me a good mental and physical workout. It really isn't in my budget to pay for classes though. Maybe I will check out some other yoga classes at other LA Fitnesses.

If that's Fat then Color Me a Chubby Chaser

I got in an argument with someone at work today. We here talking about the movie The Duchess ad how much we hated Ralph Fiennes character. Only the person I was talking with said she couldn't understand why his character would rather be with his fat mistress. My mouth was agape. I couldn't believe she was calling this actress fat but I guess anyone looks fat next to Keira Knightley. This went back ad forth for awhile. BLAH!!! I was so annoyed. Let us take a look at what is suppose to be fat and what is suppose to be ideal. I'm not saying Keira is not beautiful, she very much is but to say that the other actress is fat and couldn't understand why a man would want to be with her is just ridiculous.

Together

I've been reading this book called "Half Life" before I go to bed each night. The story is about conjoined twins Nora and Blanche. Blanche has been asleep for 15 years and Blanche's subconscious is starting to seep into Nora's conscience. I have been having the strangest dreams at night from reading this. It is also oddly the second book in a row that I have read that talks about the effects of nuclear bomb tests in the Nevada desert and the effects of the test on the people that lived near by. Strangely both books tell the story of the military dressing pigs up in army uniforms and testing the effects on the pigs. After 800 pages of the book Underworld I thought a book about conjoined twins would be a far change of subject matter. I was wrong.

Turn the World Around

I watched all of Season 3 of The Muppet Show this last week and I totally loved Harry Belafonte on it. He is lovely. This was my favorite skit.

Another Fashion Post

I have a hot little Anthropologie gift card burning a hole in my pocket. At first I was going to use it to buy myself a birthday dress. Now I'm not sure I'm even going to do anything for my birthday but I still want to buy a dress. I have always wanted an Anthro dress but could never afford one. So I have been looking at all the on-line dresses. They posted the new catalogue today and boy do I think I found a winner. I just love the colors and the embroidery. However, I need to go try it on because sometimes I love their dresses and then I try them on and they look like giant sacks in person. I can't seem to be able to copy the photo and post it here. Here is a link if you are interested in where my heart is. It is so lovely.

http://www.anthropologie.com/anthro/catalog/productdetail.jsp?id=930024&navAction=jump&search=true&parentid=SEARCH_RESULTS

Weekend Bootie

That was nice, a proper LA weekend. After New Years day off I had to be at work on Friday and it threw me off. Friday night I went to Big Wangs to celebrate Laurel's birthday. I was such tired sleepy person I ended up leaving at 11. It was fun times but I was disappointed in my body for wanting to sleep. On Saturday night a group of us met at Brian and Jessica's and then headed over to club Bootie at the Echopex to dance the night away. lots and lots of fun dancing. Sunday was pretty uneventful. I finally got a haircut. I've been too embarrassed about the state of my hair to go in for a trim. I'm glad I did because it feels and looks a world better. My hairdresser was a mean faced Eastern European lady but whatever. I touched up the color too and for the first time in over a month I actually enjoy the way it looks. Now on to a full week of work.

For the Birds

I saw this billboard yesterday and I'm not sure what it is about but I like it!

Hello 2009

Hello 2009! We gathered at Amanda's new apartment to say goodbye to 2008. Words can not tell you how jealous I am of Amanda's new place. It is so cute and I am green with envy. We drank and had a merry time.

New Years day was less merry for me. My landlord is coming by today to fix my showerhead when I am not there, because I am hear at work today. I wanted to make sure the apartment was as clean and neat as possible, it was in a state of disarray. So my tired and hung over self spent the whole day and night cleaning. My apartment has never been so clean, ever. It really looks great. Now I am back at work today and ready to have a proper weekend. More New Years photos of us hamming it up for the camera here.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/framented_light/sets/72157612068376988/

Christmas Vacation

Here are a few photos from my Christmas.