Letter of Truth

Dear neighbor girl

I guess congratulations on your engagement to the weird old burn out surfer that lives upstairs. To think about all those times he hit on me before you moved in, I could totally be getting married if those advances didn't make me nauseous. Hooray for you I suppose, but please for the love of all that is good in this world stop making your tacky wedding plans on the phone outside in front of my apartment. I don't care about the seashell table decorations, or the shade of pink you want to make things, and frankly the wedding dress that you have have picked out for years before you even met this guy kind of creeps me out.

Sincerely
Your Cold Hearted Neighbor