On Sunday I ran myself a wonderful hot bath but then realized I didn't have the perfect accessory to a hot bath...a good book. I ran out of the bathroom to fetch my book and then ran smack into my suitcase that was on the floor. Oh I have stubbed my toe before but this was pain like I have never felt. I wedged the 90 degree corner of the suitcase between my smallest toes on my right foot. The little toe was bent right as if it was trying to make a right hand turn into traffic. I thought for sure it must be broken with that amount of pain and the fact that my little toe would not sit closer to the other toe. I figured a toe injury isn't really worth going to the ER over. I didn't want to go into work the next day but I had a huge important deadline and despite the sharp pain it caused to drive and the unhappy swelling that happened when my foot wasn't raised I went in hoping my doctor could fit me in later in the day. Unfortunately through some misunderstanding I didn't see the doctor till today. My foot is so bruised and swollen but not broken. However it is going to take at least a month to heal.

Yesterday marked the month it's been since my father passed. What a tremendously appropriate end to the month. When I hurt my toe the pain made me cry and the I found that I wasn't just crying about my toe anymore. The pain was like this gateway into the most violent cry I've had in awhile. Not that I haven't cried a bunch in the last month. Some how the physical pain woke me from the general numbness I've been experiencing ad just took over in this huge emotional release. Now for the slow emotional and physical healing process. Like my toe I feel badly injured but not broken.