Blog of Eternal Stench

2011-04-25T21:19:00.001-07:00

I'm having trouble blogging due to the fact that I don't have as much Internet access these days.

Friday night I went to the Railroad Revival Tour to see Old Crow Medicine Show, Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zero, and Mumford & Sons. I loved all the instruments on the stage. There were banjos, and fiddles, and horns, and an accordion. It was nice to get a range of sounds. Then I drove up to Lompoc to spend the weekend with my mom. Her birthday fell on Easter this year which is the first time I can ever remember that happening. It is still so sad and hard to go home. Instead of hiding in my apartment I am trying to fill my life with distractions. I feel like there is this hole in my heart where once there was something at it just isn't there anymore. I try and fill it up with good things and feelings but it just slips through. Trying to hold on to happiness right now is like caring water in your hands.

weekend

2011-04-17T22:30:00.001-07:00

2011-04-07T13:56:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you are a sad kitty in a bucket and you realize all your post are just going to be about being a sad kitty in a bucket. I promise I'm going to try and get out of that bucket.

2011-03-29T23:38:00.000-07:00

2 hours after that last post things just got worse. I take back what I just wrote, I think I may just be broken.

2011-03-29T21:33:00.001-07:00

On Sunday I ran myself a wonderful hot bath but then realized I didn't have the perfect accessory to a hot bath...a good book. I ran out of the bathroom to fetch my book and then ran smack into my suitcase that was on the floor. Oh I have stubbed my toe before but this was pain like I have never felt. I wedged the 90 degree corner of the suitcase between my smallest toes on my right foot. The little toe was bent right as if it was trying to make a right hand turn into traffic. I thought for sure it must be broken with that amount of pain and the fact that my little toe would not sit closer to the other toe. I figured a toe injury isn't really worth going to the ER over. I didn't want to go into work the next day but I had a huge important deadline and despite the sharp pain it caused to drive and the unhappy swelling that happened when my foot wasn't raised I went in hoping my doctor could fit me in later in the day. Unfortunately through some misunderstanding I didn't see the doctor till today. My foot is so bruised and swollen but not broken. However it is going to take at least a month to heal.

Yesterday marked the month it's been since my father passed. What a tremendously appropriate end to the month. When I hurt my toe the pain made me cry and the I found that I wasn't just crying about my toe anymore. The pain was like this gateway into the most violent cry I've had in awhile. Not that I haven't cried a bunch in the last month. Some how the physical pain woke me from the general numbness I've been experiencing ad just took over in this huge emotional release. Now for the slow emotional and physical healing process. Like my toe I feel badly injured but not broken.

2011-03-21T15:32:00.000-07:00

There is a brightly colored hot pink large shiny jelly bean on the bathroom floor at work. I wonder if I would have been dumb and gross enough as a kid to have thought that the Easter Bunny left it there for me to find. Thank god I was never tested by fate in such a cruel manner.

2011-03-18T22:21:00.000-07:00

Tonight in the women's locker room a little boy, around 4 years old, dressed as Spiderman with blinking light tennis shoes came running in. His mortified father stood outside the entrance and yelled for him to get out of their and come back. Spiderboy paid his father no mind and just stood there until one of the women employees escorted him out. Thankfully I was just lacing my shoes and I did and no one was really naked enough to turn Spiderboy into a Spiderman. Perhaps he should just work harder on having X-Ray vision.

2011-03-16T10:59:00.001-07:00

Who knew the Nate Dogg and our family dog would die on the same day. I think someone has declared a plague on our household. 2011 is sure not shaping up to be a anything but an asshole of a year.

2011-03-15T21:44:00.001-07:00

This morning on my commute to work there was a car in front of me whose back window was filled with a family of 5 snowmen stuffed toys staring back at me. Each one had a different hat or accessory. It was a stop go type of morning and I found myself stuck behind this family of snowmen. At first I was annoyed by their chipper little faces gazing at me. You see I've never been much of a morning person and that type of wide eyed whimsy annoys me. Then I found myself trying to dissect their individual personalities and what their little snowman family dynamic must be. The one that was second to the right was obviously the matriarch of the family and her attire suggested a love of gardening. I worried about the safety for a gardening snowman. I was contemplating the vision benefits of a carrot for a nose yet still having to wear glasses like the snowlad on the left when the car turned off the freeway. I was sad to see the little frosty family go.

2011-03-14T23:22:00.000-07:00

Managed to relax and have a lovely weekend. Friday I went to the drive-in with Doug to see "Unknown" and "The Adjustment Bureau." On Saturday I got to spend the day Lindsey. Her and David are making the most adorable home together to welcome their upcoming May baby. With the loss of my dad to this world it is a lovely thought to know that 2 new wonderful parents are being being brought into it. In the evening I went to Gen's fort themed birthday party. After a few whipped cream flavored vodkas with orange soda I thought it would be an excellent idea to erect my tent inside the fort. I was not wrong haha. Unfortunately Sunday was spent recovering from the combination of alcohol and tons of sugary drinks. I did manage to catch The Danny Glovers softball game in the evening for their first ever win!

Fall Runway Love

2011-03-10T16:59:00.000-08:00

2011-03-09T23:31:00.000-08:00

I feel like I should write a new post so that last one just doesn't sit at the top. I don't even know how to begin to talk about the last month and a half, what a bewildering time. First there was turning 30 and getting on a plane to South America the same day. I started out the trip pretty sick, okay to be honest it was a urinary tract infection. But lets be honest about the hell of being on a place for 13 hours with that. The trip was nice but it was work and it made me long to be a tourist. I was exhausted once I got back. I worked to try and catch up for the week after that then took a week vacation. I am so upset with myself for not going to visit my parents one my vacation time. How selfish and what a loss that I didn't see my dad during the last few weeks of his life. Instead I went to visit my brother and despite the rain we went to the zoo and then because of it I ended up getting very ill. I was sick in bed for days. I finally went to the doctor and he gave me an inhaler to use for a week. I was just starting to feel better when I get a message from my mom that my dad is in the hospital and was in very bad shape. When I talked to her I found out that he had a cardiac arrest and was revived but had not gained back consciousness. I did not know then and didn't find out till later that it took them 20 minutes to revive him. I went to visit him the next day and I will not go into detail but it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do to see him in the state he was. He never regained brain activity after the cardiac arrest. I guess he has come back so many times after cheating death my whole life that you get use to it in a way I still held out hope. For me, as I know for many others, your dad is the symbol of strength in your life from the time you are born. To see that strength crumble before your eyes is terrifying and heart breaking. That Monday night I called my mom in the evening and she had just come back from the hospital after giving the permission to pull the plug. I didn't know if it had happened yet or not and didn't find out for sure till the next day. I don't really remember driving home that night. I spent last Thursday-Sunday back home in the home I grew up in with my father. We buried him on Friday. It was a gorgeous sunny day in Santa Barbara. It has been very complex and difficult since. I find myself sometimes letting go and forgetting then remembering and being brought right back into the the sadness and then feeling guilty and selfish for letting go of it. Then at other times I feel a manic need to make every minute count and feeling how fast time goes by which feels amplified by the fact that I just turned 30 and weight of feeling older. I feel so mentally exhausted all the time. I could go on and on but I think it's time for bed. Hopefully my next post won't be so heavy.

*edit to add, I just noticed this is my 1000th post, here's hoping the 2000th will be a nicer one

2011-02-28T20:51:00.000-08:00

I will always love you dad. I have no words for this level of sadness and loss. It hurts more then I could ever express.

2011-02-03T16:48:00.000-08:00

more words to follow soon but in a brief overview here is a wonderful video by Doug of Palm Springs

and here are the few photos I took on my trip. I didn't have much time to take many or see the sights so sorry that it isn't a lot of better
http://www.flickr.com/photos/framented_light/sets/72157625846111499

2011-01-25T21:24:00.001-08:00

I feel like I am running around like a chicken with its head cut off. I can't believe I had such a relaxing weekend in Palm Springs because the effects have worn off. I finally got my passport in the mail yesterday. Breathing a giant sigh of relief since I'm flying out on Thursday. I also ordered a new suitcase on-line because the only one I had was carry on size. I LOVE my new suitcase. It is orange with a grey and white snake skin details. It's Diane Von Furstenberg which I got on such an amazing sale price, ooo, it also has pink lining. I can't wait to see it on the little luggage carousal with the millions of black bags. You know what else came in the mail yesterday? Another jury summons! I just completed my jury service a month ago! I called to get excused tonight ad the automated system recognized that I had just served and asked me if I wanted to serve again press 1 or be excused press 2. It made me thankful that I lead a #2 pressing life. I'm so excited and stressed out about the trip. But no more procrastinating, I'm getting off line right now and packing.

Four Eyed & Fancy Free

2011-01-18T21:33:00.000-08:00

I went to the eye doctor for the first time in 10 years today. I'm going into the dmv to renew my licence on Friday and I started to get worried if I would still pass the eye exam. I can tell my vision isn't as good as it use to be and at night if I have to read a street sign I have to get a lot closer to it before I can read it. The eye doctor I went to is located in the CNN building on Sunset which is pretty close to where I live. Funny, I never really thought about there being other businesses inside that building but now that I think of it there is no way CNN owns that whole building. My doctor was super nice and knowledgeable and I felt so comfortable with him, I wish I could find a general practise doctor as awesome as him. He told me that my vision is actually pretty good and I should have no problem passing my eye exam at the dmv. We agreed that for driving it would probably be a good for me to have glasses in situations where I felt I needed them. My lenses are actually going to give me better then 20/20 vision so I'm kinda excited about seeing insane amounts of detail really far away. I picked out some really cute bcbg glasses.

2011-01-16T08:45:00.001-08:00

Why hello there blog. That was a long dry spell. I'd like to promise it is over but who knows.

So the holiday season is over and this weekend in LA is feeling like summer. I have been feeling like I'm getting sick all week but haven't gotten there yet. Not sure, maybe I'm just feeling stressed out. I haven't taken a vacation in a year now. I had one planned for the end of the month but in some positive news I'm going to be going to Buenos Aires and Punta del Este that week for work. In fact I fly out on my 30th birthday. It is a delightful distraction from the milestone for me. So I will be pushing my vacation back till the week of Feb 14th. Next weekend I will be going to Palm Springs as well. So much to look forward to right now. This weekend I should be cleaning but mostly I have been resting trying to get my health back. I can't even believe the amount I slept last night.

The Great Waltz

2010-12-03T22:28:00.000-08:00

I found this lovely vintage poster at the thrift store today. I have not gone thifting in ages. I just love the illustration and the coloring really matches my apartment. I sort of hate the label someone put under it that says "M.G.M The Great Waltz 1938." I decided to type it in to my computer and the posters for this movie don't look anything like this image. I wonder if this is even for that movie or not. Is this a famous illustration that I just am not recognizing? Now I'm just curious on what this is exactly. Whatever it is I very much like it.

Cold Hearted

2010-11-30T17:54:00.000-08:00

I really need to have someone come turn on the pilot light for my heater in my apartment. I can't seem to be able to figure out how to get to the place I need to light it on my own. Though I have to clear everything out of the way and rearrange furniture so they can get to it. Plus my apartment is a horrible horrible mess. The only time I have to do this is when I come home at night and I am far to tired and cold to do such a major undertaking. So I have just been bundling up like a hobo. I think my laziness would kill me in colder climates.

Thanksgaving

2010-11-29T20:20:00.000-08:00

I had a double Thanksgiving again this year, like I did last year. On actual Thanksgiving I stayed in town with friends and then drove up north to spend the rest of the weekend with my parents. It has been very chilly here and up north. I wish I had a fireplace to curl up in front of and wait out the winter. I'm trying not to let the winter sadness in this year.

Eyes Want Candy

2010-11-16T10:29:00.000-08:00

I have that I've been doing most my life updates in tiny statues updates on Facebook for the last year. I'm afraid the blog isn't what it used to be. I've decided to post more inspiration and cool design photos here. At least to keep things current and new updates. I promise I will still do updates too. I'd like to get in to posting everyday again. I think a good way to keep up the momentum is sharing some of the wonderful things I find in the world and on the web. Hope you might find them of interest as well.

Lets Start the Month of Giving Thanks

2010-11-03T22:28:00.001-07:00

Today in rush hour traffic on the 110 I let a car merge in in front of me. The lady driving the car stuck her hand out the widow holding a sign that said "Thank You." haha, sort of awesome and a nice brake from the mind numbing traffic.

Dead Man's Party

2010-11-02T16:59:00.000-07:00

On Saturday Amanda, Erin and myself went to the Hollywood Forever Cemetery for the annual Day of the Dead celebration. It was beautiful however, I think if I go again I will just go in the day when it is less crowed. The large crowed was giving me a slight panic attack.

Costume Affair

2010-11-02T16:56:00.000-07:00

Money was a little tight for Halloween this year. I stuck with an outfit I owned almost everything for it. I did have to buy a fishnet top. I was Pris from Blade Runner. I felt pretty good in it at the time but now that I've been seeing photos from parties I am unsure that it turned good. At work I was told 2 days before that they were having a costume contest. I used the black and white make-up from my Pris costume and mixed it into grey and got some grey hairspray. I wore vintage black and grey. I was in black and white. I thought it looked awesome, alas I didn't even place in the contest sad :(

Cabin Fever

2010-11-02T16:49:00.000-07:00

Oh, um, hi there! Sorry for the silence recently. There has been major work changes and also my home computer has been down. But I'm still here and have been having lots of fun and games and other suchness in my life. Lets start a post about Lake Arrowhead. I have not been there before, or maybe I have when I was little, but I never really understood where I was on vacation. 2 weeks ago a big group of us went up to Lake Arrowhead to celebrate Rick's 30th birthday. T'was lots of fun and games had by all.

2010-10-14T21:32:00.000-07:00

When the Kaiser anti stress radio ad makes you break down and weep in your car it might be time to take a vacation.

2010-10-13T23:27:00.001-07:00

I'm having one of those days that really feels like no matter how hard you work and how good you do there really is no reward for it. Feeling really beaten down. I should really stop focusing my effort into bottomless wells where every effort just disappears. Or at least baby step into being able to ask for help instead of always giving it and leaving nothing left for myself.

2010-10-11T19:31:00.000-07:00

Ooo, sorry I have been MIA lately. Big news and things going on at work right now. I don't feel like this is a place I feel comfortable talking about work so just ask me for the details in person next time you see me. Without getting into it let me just say things are a bit up in the air right now and I'm not sure how the cards are going to land. All this uncertainty is very stressful and I'm afraid I've been letting it get to me. Last week was intense to say the least. On Wed. night I went to Palm Springs for the night to wake up very early and start work on our photo shoot. I am pretty confident we got some great shots and I'm really looking forward to seeing them. On Saturday I got together with Maureen who is getting into photography and was asking for people to pose for her. We went to a few locations and I think she got some beautiful shots. I'll post some below. Then in the evening I went over to Liz's for a screening of Showgirls. I had only ever seen the R rated version over 10 years ago. Oh my, that movie is so bad that is really crosses over to good. It was a lot of fun watching it with a group of people a well. Then on Sunday I watched some movies and did some drawing. I couldn't believe how fast the week ended. Today I took my car in to be serviced and took the bus to work. Man, not one of my favorite things to do. Tomorrow I'm going to get a rental.

Love

2010-09-27T12:48:00.001-07:00

A Fair to Remember

2010-09-26T14:33:00.000-07:00

Yesterday afternoon Amanda and I headed to the LA County Fair. We were going to meet up with some other folks but they couldn't make it at the last minute. Fun prevailed with sneaky drinks, pig races, deep fried food, and insane crafts. Unfortunately the deep fried avocado and veggies did me in and I did not have room for dessert. I am sad that I did not get funnel cake, or candy apples, or chocolate dipped ice cream. What a loss.

Today is so hot and I am doing laundry trying my best not to touch the hot clothes when they are fresh from the dryer. Never did I think fresh sheets and comforter hot from the dryer would be so awful. I sort of liked our mild summer, I don't flourish in the heat.

2010-09-23T11:29:00.001-07:00

2010-09-20T21:00:00.000-07:00

I had a wonderful action packed Saturday which involved me consuming an entire bottle of wine at the Hollywood Bowl. Needless to say I was a bit worse for wear on Sunday and stayed in and watched movies. I got a big old headache in the evening and realized I was out of Tylenol but did have Excedrin PM. Worked like a charm but also made me totally groggy today.

At work today we did some model casting. These are days that make me feel fat, ugly and old. I like to pretend, looking at magazines, that all the models are super Photoshopped and no one looks that good. It's totally a lie once you see them in person and realize there are people that do look that amazing. One model I saw was a beautiful 18 year old who just graduated high school. She only had 2 photos in her portfolio and one of them she was topless. Sometimes the world is a strange place.

2010-09-14T22:21:00.000-07:00

2010-09-13T12:09:00.000-07:00

Okay, last week week was tough to say the least but now that I am all well in the medical department that I will not get into because it isn't pretty. Everything is much more manageable when you are in good health.

Saturday night I went to my last Hollywood Forever Cemetery screening of the year. There is just one more left next week but I have Hollywood Bowl tickets and I won't be going that night. On Saturday Amanda and I went to see the old (not the remake) movie Bedazzled. It was funny, not my favorite movie I've ever seen there. However, it was the least amount of people I've ever seen in a screening. So strange. I liked it less crowded, I wish it was always that way.

Yesterday I started a sewing project but it is a pretty big project with 26 pattern pieces with lining and piping and boning. It is going to take awhile to finish. Then I headed out to watch The Napkins first softball game of the season.

2010-09-09T11:33:00.000-07:00

This last week has been just one bad thing after another happening. I feel zero motivation to even get out of bed in the morning.

Labor Pains

2010-09-06T13:43:00.000-07:00

I'm sort of stuck at home this weekend which hasn't been fun. I need to go to the doctor but it isn't an emergency so I'm waiting out this 3 day weekend in pain. It hasn't been the 3 day weekend I've been dreaming about that's for sure. Anyways, I've spent so much time at home I am now listening to 2 neighbor children playing outside. One of them sounds upset and said "I don't like fighting." I can hear the wooden clank of broom handles. The other says self righteously "I don't like playing with people that don't know how to sword fight..cause I've been practicing." I forgot about all the mini wars I use to have as a child. I thought I was a master sword fighter too.

2010-09-05T13:39:00.000-07:00

There is a baby crying next door and a man that is mimicing the babies cry. As soon as the baby makes a "Bwaaaa" sound the man starts yelling "BWAAAA" only louder and deeper over the kids wailing. Awesome parenting going on next door. On Thursday night there was a toddler outside, in the same house, screaming his head off for his dad to come back just after midnight.

2010-08-30T15:23:00.000-07:00

Had a lovely weekend camping up at the Buckhorn campground in the Angeles National Forest this weekend. I was so excited to find the campground untouched by last years terrible fire. It is such a beautiful location and I would have been so sad to see it burnt.

I have to admit that I am utterly exhausted today. I didn't sleep much at all last night. I was up with a painful UTI. The night before I was up with terrible heartburn from eating too much junk around the campfire and partaking in too much drinking. 2 nights of not feeling good and little sleep has sure taken it out of me. I packed my gym gear for tonight but I think I just may go home and pass out.

Fashion Love

2010-08-23T11:16:00.000-07:00

Sometimes Life is a Picnic

2010-08-22T20:31:00.000-07:00

In honor of the beautiful weather that has finally hit Los Angeles I organized a picnic in Griffith Park at The Old Zoo on Saturday. We had lots of yummy food, sunshine, badminton, and neighbors that included Shakespeare in the Park and pony rides. I deem it a success and great fun. I need to spend more time in the sun. I'm not use to it and it drained me off all my energy, though I'm sure the drinks and food didn't hurt. I just love summers in LA there are just so many wonderful things to do and see.

2010-08-18T09:44:00.001-07:00

Oh dear, I have not updated this in awhile. Hmmm, I didn't do that much last weekend. I went and played Ping Pong at Spin Hollywood on Friday with Lindsey and David while Trumbo DJ'ed. I rather enjoyed ping pong. Then on Saturday I did some sketching and went to a bunch of fabric stores around town. I wasn't feeling well at all on Sunday so I stayed in.

Yesterday I went to see my new OB/GYN. I always have a different one every year it seems so I never know what to expect. In general I liked the new one. I picked an older male doctor because I seem to have the best luck with them. He was very nice and friendly. Though I was thrown back at what he said to me right as he was finishing my pap. He smiled and said in an older man harmless flirty way "Well, I'll have to send a thank you card to your doctor for recommending me to you." Which would be less awkward if not for the circumstances. I'm just going to take it as a different generation of doctor humor.

Japanese Nail Art is insane!!!

2010-08-11T16:30:00.000-07:00

2010-08-06T13:20:00.000-07:00

There is a girl on etsy I found that makes these beauiful floral hair pieces. I want to buy 10 of them. I splurged and bought this one.

Puppy Love

2010-08-06T12:08:00.001-07:00

What a week it has been in the lives of my parent's dogs. 2 dogs in one week have had to be put down. It is heartbreaking. I can only imagine how terrible it feels in my parents house. The emptiness of an absent pet is heartbreaking. I'm glad I got to see Rusty and Pierre one last time when I went home 2 weeks ago.

I'm Going to Make a Man Out of You

2010-07-30T15:47:00.000-07:00

Baking Humble Pie

2010-07-29T21:10:00.000-07:00

Tonight I achieved the best parallel parking job of my life with no outside help. For someone that is terrible at parallel parking I was glowing with pride and accomplishment. I followed my grand achievement up by cooking dinner in my oven setting the timer for 25min. only to come back and see that I forgot to actually put the food in the oven. Man, life just builds you up to knock you back down again.

Whale of a Tail

2010-07-29T10:01:00.001-07:00

When entering and leaving my gym you have to walk on this second floor walk way that over looks the pool. I always like looking down at the people swimming. I love the way they look suspended underwater. No matter what the persons size or age everyone looks beautiful and graceful underwater. Last night while leaving the gym I saw a group of teenage boys gathered around the glass on the second floor looking down at the pool. I heard them sneaker a little and point. I assumed it was a hot girl that had caught their eye. I wanted to see what they were looking at and what passes for hot these days in the eyes of teenage boys. I peered over the edge and was confronted with a giant white ass of an over weight boy who's swim trunks were around his ankles. Hmmm, I might have finally found one person that did not look beautiful and graceful underwater.

Take Care Now

2010-07-27T15:44:00.001-07:00

I went home to visit my parents last weekend. I usually visit them 3 times a year. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and once in the summer. I wish my brother was there at the same time I was, it always makes the visit more fun when he is. My favorite moment this weekend was when I was telling my mom about the Miami show and trying to explain what I do (I still don't think she really understands my job). Anyways, I was talking about the how we have models for the show to show the line on. She was asking about the models and said "I don't suppose you can be over 30 and be a model." I told her that the show models could be over 30 and a good number of them were over 30. I said that most of them take very good care of themselves and looked great. I went on talking about something else for awhile and I could tell she was thinking and she stopped me and said in all honesty "When you say 'take care of themselves' you mean starve themselves right?" I was a little floored that this is what she would interpreter the meaning of 'take care of yourself' to be.

Here and Back Again

2010-07-21T18:11:00.000-07:00

I am a tired little monkey. I have to say it was night to be so far away from home and away from the computer for a week. I kept so busy with new things that I didn't have a chance to dwell on all the stuff that has been emotionally bogging me down here at home. Needless to say it is nice to take a break from obsessing :) So lets talk about the trip! I am too tired to re-read this to correct my typos, sorry just go with it ;)

I got to LAX last Wednesday morning for my flight landing me in Miami at around 4:40. I went straight from the airport to the Botanical Gardens were I set up for our meeting in the morning. After that I hopped a ride with another employee who was renting a car to get a ride to dinner. She handed me her GPS and told me to get us there. Oh dear. Anyone who knows me well knows that I spend most my time lost, and that is in places that I know well. Well needless to say we got horribly and hopelessly lost. By the time we got to the Cuba restaurant I was starving having only eaten a bagel that day. Well just my luck, they had no vegetarian options and I had to get creative with my order.

The next morning we had our salesman meeting at the Botanical Garden all day. I was in back with the models helping them change into their outfits. Luckily we got out in enough time that I caught the last hour of sun up on the roof top pool. It was gorgeous and the only time I got to use that pool before it was invaded by the masses. After that we went to the Trina Turk fashion show in the evening followed by dinner in the W hotel. Ooooh, love love love the W hotel, so beautiful. I stayed at the Gansevoort which wasn't as nice but my room was 3 times the size of my apartment so I was a happy camper.

The next morning we showed the line again in the Botanical Garden to two of our bigger accounts, then at 5:30 we racked everything up and wheeled it across the street to the convention center where the main show was starting the next day. I got the models line reading in the dressing room and then left. We were having our company cocktail party at the 3rd floor pool which is outside and right next to the ocean. Around 8:30 I met M at the pool because she can't swim and I was going to give her lessons. Well, unfortunately the pool closed at 9 and they kicked us out. So M and N and myself went to to the beach for some wonderful night swimming. I don't think I will get over how strange a warm ocean is. Totally wonderful but very strange.

The next morning our show started and I was in the back room with the models all day helping dress the girls so the sales people have the visuals while showing their accounts. At 4 I left to do some shopping research and sample buying at the nice outdoor mall in Bal Harbour. We couldn't stay too long because we had a business dinner that evening. When I got back to the hotel in was filled with the most loud ghetto ass crowd you have ever seen which seemed strange compared to the usual crowd that is there. Well apparently the hotel was hosting some event to welcome Lebron James to the city and there was some sort of boot contest at the upstairs pool as well. The crowd was super loud, drunk, and annoying. Girls were getting into fights, the guys would try and corner you in the elevator, and the whole 3rd floor was just ripe with the smell of weed. We met our guest in the very loud lobby and then went to Casa Tua which is possibly the nicest restaurant I have even been to, haha it was too extremes there. The wine was incredible and the portions were so small that I got to eat a starter, meal, and dessert. My dessert was the most wonderful crème brulee with white peaches, mmmm drool After the meal I decided that it was one of my only times I could go out and take some photos of the night life. I walked by myself about a mile or two and then it started raining. I know that Miami rain usually only last a few minutes so I tried to wait it out under an over hanging. I waited and waited but it wasn't letting up. I finally tried to get a taxi but on a surprising rainy Saturday night it was not going to happen. I finally wrapped my stuff in a plastic bag and walked back to the hotel. It was warm out and actually very nice. I didn't mind getting wet I was just worried about my camera. I never really got photos of the night life.

The next day, Sunday, we worked the show all day and into the evening and grabbed a quite bite to eat at a little hole in the wall next to the hotel. I took a beautiful walk on the ocean boardwalk in the evening.

On Monday we worked the show all day and then went out to out traditional design dinner at the Standard. I just love it there! You eat facing the bay and it is just endlessly relaxing. Plus I love hanging out with only the design team. We don't talk numbers or business. Well since it was my last night I had my share of cocktails. I mean I drank cocktails even night while there but the last night I let a bit lose. I went swimming in the hotel pool till they kicked me out so I moved my skinny dipping to the ocean. So much fun!

Tuesday we had a few meetings in the morning, then I had to checkout and catch my plane back. Wish I could have gotten more then an hour of sun but all in all it was a good trip.

2010-07-20T21:55:00.000-07:00

I'm back! More later, photos now! :)

South Beach

2010-07-13T22:45:00.000-07:00

I'll be off-line for a week. If you need me you can come find me somewhere here :)

Ready sunSet Go

2010-07-12T21:02:00.000-07:00

The sun sets on Hollywood tonight. I am totally looking forward to taking my new camera to Miami. Though I will have to read up on night photography since I'm not sure if I will be getting out at all during the day.

Anchors Away

2010-07-11T20:14:00.000-07:00

This weekend has pretty much been dedicated to trying to get everything ready before I leave on Wednesday. I worked late on Friday night and by the time I got home I barely had enough energy to take off my work clothes before I just passed out. I missed out on all the Friday night fun. Then I woke up and went in to work on Saturday boo. After that I headed over to Lindsey and David's to hangout BBQ style. I felt like I was pretty low energy and ended up leaving early. I caught up on some Netflix in the evening and crashed early again. Then today I have been desperately trying to clean up my apartment so I don't come home to such a mess. I'm on my 8th load of laundry and I might just call it quits and read for the rest of the evening. Not sure why I'm posting this. Has to be one of the most boring blog posts ever. I just told myself I would blog more. I'm looking forward to my trip. The 2 weeks before market, the week of market, and the week after are always me at my worst I feel. I'm actually thankful I'm not in a relationship right now. This time of year has been a tremendous stress on my relationships in the past. At least if I'm going to act like a sinking ship I don't have any passengers aboard.

Too Tired to Think of Something Clever to Title This

2010-07-08T20:15:00.001-07:00

Work is just kicking my ass. I'm making a desperate attempt to get everything ready for our big Miami market next week. I'm so tired and I haven't been able to work out and I feel crappy and fatty. Towards the end of a very stressful day today someone sprayed spray adhesive in the room next to me and I had to work smelling that for the last few hours and got the biggest headache. My one happy thought was that I was getting the last half of the 2nd season of True Blood in the mail today. It is such trashy trashy fun. I just wanted to turn off my brain and take in the entertainment. I get home and my mailbox is empty. Oh the sadness! I thought about reading but my head isn't even thinking straight at all. I think I will see what hulu has to offer. I desperately need to unwind here. I always hate this time of year. Market always puts a damper on my summer.

Weekend Warrior

2010-07-05T19:40:00.000-07:00

When ever I leave the city behind I have the overwhelming feeling of change in my heart. Like it is going to save me and change me. I'm not sure I need saving or changing but I'm in love with the idea of both. How a person would dream of a trip to Las Vegas with friends for the weekend could save them I can't really explain. I guess that is just the person I am. It was a good trip and perhaps it did save me from my everyday life.

After work on Friday I drove over to Rick's and him, Gen, and Amanda P set off for the desert at about 7:45. We stopped for food along the way and by the time I checked my phone while entering the hotel room it was 2am. We caught a taxi to old downtown Vegas. I had never seen that part of Vegas before and enjoyed experiencing a different part of the city. It was older and a little less flashy. We met up with Jen, Alex, Byron, and Mwazhuwa. Jen's co-worker Jason was there whom we discovered we're both 2005 Otis grads (he's from graphic design for you fellow Otis graphic design majors that read this). We all just walked around and drank and did some gambling. On our taxi ride back to the hotel I noticed the sky was getting lighter and it was going to be dawn very soon. I can't remember the last time I have seen the sky at 5am. It was a treat I usually miss out on.

The next morning I got up and got on my swim suit and got my book and headed downstairs for the pool. While downstairs I spotted Dan in the lobby and we headed off to the pool. At that point there were no available chairs by the pool but Dan just happens to be a master at the art spotting people leaving and scooping up a spot. Thanks to him within an hour or two I was in a more shaded section with mist. Amanda S came to join us and eventually the rest of my carpool buddies were there as well.

I left the pool around 4pm. I needed some alone time to decompress before what I knew was going to be a very social and exciting evening. At around 7 we finally met up with the rest of our group in the birthday girls room (oh, I forgot to mention this whole trip was planned in celebration of the lovely Jessica's 30th birthday). We all had dinner at a tapas place that was yummy.

After dinner we headed back to the hotel to change and get ready for the evening. We had an excellent time pre-party in Brian and Jessica's room. I will try to post photos later after people hopefully post some on-line. I managed to only take 3 photos with my camera the whole trip, ooops. Well into a state of good cheer we headed off into the night. I think the best way to fully describe the evening can be summed up with a conversation I had with Rick, Gen, and Amanda P at breakfast the next morning. Rick looked like he was thinking hard and then asked "Wait, what did we do last night?" there was silence for awhile because we were all trying to remember. We all agreed that we walked around on the strip and there was gambling and drinking. But the details remain a bit of a mystery. However I have very lovely fragmented memories of a totally fun time. I think we got to the hotel room at around 4:30 am

The next day after checkout we headed for a late brunch which I guess could be called lunch haha I think we finally left Vegas at around 3?? On the car ride back I got a call from Zach that Jessica's car was having some problems and they had pulled over. Unfortunately we were already pass the exit they pulled off on. We were heading to the next exit to turn around and stopped at what looks like it was an old gas station but was now just a market. So we could bring them water and also I really needed a restroom break after the 3 or 4 cups of recovery coffee I had that morning. The market was an old white wooden building with the word "MARKET" painted in big red capital letters on top. There was an old sewing machine out front and some old saddles on display. We were greeted out front by a man that I thought was part of some sort of old prospector costume with overalls and a rat nest of white hair. He was so excited to open the door and welcome us. The store was playing some classic rock and I stood in line with what appeared to be other girls on their way to or out of Vegas. There was this short man that looked like he had spent many years in the desert doing drugs and living out his life as one long party. He had scraggly shoulder length brown hair and resembled a hedgehog. He was managing the line that had formed for the restroom and seemed to be so pleased that he had the attention of so many ladies. I ended up using the men's room because the other ladies in front of me didn't want to. After I went in the man turned to Gen and asked if I was her friend then said "She's cute." Gen smiled and agreed with him and he responded with "Man, why do girls always do that?" Which we are not exactly sure what that meant but he moved on to other topics before remembering his manners and told her she was also cute. At the counter there was a tall skinny sun and drug burn out of a man that quizzed Rick about what the name of the artist was that performs the song that was playing. Actually he had trouble getting out the question and said something like "What what what's the name of this? You know. Like, who does this? Who is this" Rick guessed a bunch of classic rock artist but wasn't getting it right so the man said he would give him a hint. The hint was that is was Homer Simpson's favorite band. He still didn't know so he gave him another hint that it starts with Grand. Rick then guessed Grand Funk Railroad. The guy was happy and said yes and gave Rick a tootie roll and said "That's for knowing good music...it's vanilla." I got to the counter and looked to my right to see another burn out man who winked at me and mouthed something. I smiled and turned away. Apparently he did the same thing to Gen and he was mouthing the word "howdy." I have never seen a group of people who seemed to enjoy their work as much as those men in that shop. I totally want to stop there every time I am coming home from Vegas.

After the shop we got back to Jessica's car and found them talking with a tow truck driver. The car had cooled down and the driver was giving them the okay to head back on the road. We followed behind them and soon Jen's car was also caravaning with us. We ended up all getting back to LA okay. As we got into town all the 4th of July fireworks were going off. It was like LA was welcoming us back. I took what felt like the best shower of my life and fell into a deep and wonderful 12 hour sleep.

Fun and Head Games

2010-07-01T09:09:00.001-07:00

Every morning I keep my mind sharp by playing a memory game called "Where did I park my car last night?" I don't have a parking spot at my apartment and the car could be anywhere in a 2 block radius. So while I am still groggy from sleep I picture what I was wearing and what I was thinking about the night before and I picture myself walking to my apartment. As soon as I get the image in my head I know exactly where I parked. For example this morning I had no idea where I found parking last nigh and I remembered going around the block at least once. Then I remembered that I was carrying my new vintage camera bag I just got for my camera. I also remembered that I was rehashing and dissecting a conversation I had on Sunday night. The more I thought about it the more upset I was getting about it. So with this picture in my head I remembered I parked on the street behind me next to the house with Christmas lights. I wonder if my mind will just stop functioning once I move into a place with a parking spot.

2010-06-27T21:37:00.000-07:00

I have done so many fun and wonderful things yet I just want to sit and read my book for the rest of the night. Sorry, I'm failing this blog. But hey look, here is a phot of a squirrel and a girl! From todays picnic with Lindsey and David and Mr. Squirrel Pants.

2010-06-14T23:16:00.000-07:00

I stayed at work late then when to the gym and then grocery shopping. Starting a load of laundry at 10:30 is sad but not as sad as being out of clean towels, underwear, and gym clothes. Stupid jerk faced neighbor that was using the dryer as I washed decided to do an extra half hour cycle. Want to go to bed. I feel like I will never have it together enough to own my own washer and dryer.

2010-06-13T20:30:00.000-07:00

I went to the flea market today. I haven't gone in so long I forgot how much I just love looking at all the stuff. It got pretty hot though and I needed to get out of the sun after three hours. I went home and finished reading my book. After that I caught up on "This American Life" on-line while making this drawing. I think I will end the night with a movie and call it a perfectly delightful Sunday.

Extreme Poodle

2010-06-13T08:27:00.000-07:00

I need to see this show!!!

2010-06-10T16:08:00.000-07:00

I was sitting around reading last Saturday afternoon. I was feeling terribly unsocial and just wanted some much needed alone time with my book and a glass of iced coffee. I had kcrw playing softly and there was a pretty song on the radio playing with a lovely female voice. The dj said after the song that it was Karen Elson whom has been one of my favorite models for the last 10 years or so. She is also married to Jack Black. I was super impressed by her song and they said that she was playing at Spaceland on Wednesday and they would be giving away tickets soon. I just went back to reading. When they announced to call in to win tickets for some reason it just struck me to call in and try to win them sense I am a kcrw member. I actually ended up winning the tickets! I couldn't believe it, I've never called in for tickets before. Last year Amanda won Leonard Cohen tickets on KCRW and was kind enough to invite me to be her plus one so I was thrilled to get to offer her my kcrw plus one win.

So last night we went to Spaceland to check out the show. The first opening band was pretty bad but at least they seemed like they were having fun. The second band had a whole retro look that was pretty cool but there was so much echo in the female singers mike I couldn't understand a damn word she sang. I was a bit worried that the night might be a bust. Karen Elson's band took the stage and the men were dressed in super fancy black suits with dust rose shirts and the female base player had on a vintage peach dress with black tights. Karen had on a lovely beach colored vintage gown and her hair was the most beautiful shade of light red and she had this amazing hairstyle that I might try my hand at copying sometime in the future. She is just gorgeous. It's funny because I would never have recognized her if I saw her on the street. She looks so much softer and less edgy in real life. She had the same type of face that surprised me when I met Cindy Crawford in person. Their faces look tiny in person. It must be a super model thing, tiny faces with delicate refined features must photograph better.

When Karen started singing I was really taken aback at how beautiful she sounded and she had some amazing songs. She was such a treat to watch and was so charming. I could not get enough of watching her. If my feet weren't killing me from standing all night I could have watched her all night now. I really hope her music career takes off and she won't be stuck in the shadow of her husband. I highly recommend checking out her music.

Buy the Dress....Bye Dress

2010-06-09T09:31:00.000-07:00

I really enjoy looking at all the vintage clothes for sale on-line. I'm trying right now to save some money and not buy anything for awhile. Last night I came across this dress that I just fell deeply in love with. It was $65 which seems about right for such a lovely vintage piece. I was arguing with myself before I went to bed. My brain kept saying 'buy the dress buy the dress.' I finally reasoned with myself to sleep on it and if the dress sold between the night and the morning then it wasn't meant to be. Well sure enough someone bought the dress and I am mixed with relief and sadness. *sigh* it is just a beautiful fun piece.

2010-06-07T11:47:00.001-07:00

oh now, I feel better :)

2010-06-07T09:35:00.003-07:00

Do you ever have one of those mornings were you can't shake the question 'What am I doing with my life?' Then feel your life slipping by and all you want to do is keep driving away from everything and you can't breath.

It is too early in the week for this.

2010-06-07T09:35:00.001-07:00

Desert Heat

2010-06-03T17:11:00.001-07:00

Oh man, I was going to post something silly and short but then realized I never recapped my weekend.

So I got an email Friday afternoon from Amanda asking if I wanted to join her and Erin for a trip to Joshua Tree the next day. I had always wanted to go to Joshua Tree before but just never have. I had a few plans for the weekend but I canceled them and hopped a ride Saturday morning to the desert. We got to the park in the afternoon and walked around different parts of of the park. It was stunning. I just love the beauty of the desert. After a few hours at the park we headed to the hotel made some margaritas and set out for the pool. It was the saddest little parking lot pool you have ever seen, we chose the hot tub which was approximately the same size. We had some girl talk that was one for the record books haha. After that we got ready and went to Pappy's and Herriot's for dinner and drinks. That place was AMAZING! Perhaps my new favorite bar. Unfortunately we weren't able to get a table but we ate dinner at the bar. There was a wonderful live honky tonk band and people dancing the 2 step. A man asked me to dance and I was pretty sad to say no because I really just haven't the slightest idea how to do that. Amanda and Erin played pool but I stayed and listened to the band and drank my old fashioned. The next morning we stopped in a cute little cafe in town for some yummy breakfast and then headed to Palm Springs for a bit before driving home. It was the perfect last minute Memorial Day trip.

2010-06-01T00:38:00.000-07:00

I had such an amazing unexpected weekend that started with a trip to Joshua Tree. I really really need to do a recap but I need to go to bed and have a busy day tomorrow and won't get to it till the evening. Until then if you want to look through my photos please do, stories to come soon I promise

Joshua Tree

2010-05-28T09:55:00.000-07:00

I take secret pleasure in the late 20's metabolism slow down that a lot of people I know are going through. Isn't that terrible? It's just that I never had a magical time in my life that I could get away with eatting everything I wanted and be skinny. Now when people complain about it I secretly say to myself inside 'HA! Now you shall suffer the way I've suffered.' I am such an asshole sometimes. It's not like I enjoy eating salads every day. If I had it my way I'd eat nothing but cheese and chocolate.

2010-05-19T10:55:00.000-07:00

Looking at old patterns I came across this one. My first reaction was, OH MY GOD THAT IS SO CUTE! But then I stepped back and thought about it in terms of real life. I don't think it is a look that works in the realm of non illustration. Oh well, it is a very cute illustration.

2010-05-18T18:39:00.000-07:00

Eat, Drink, and Be Merry

2010-05-17T14:01:00.000-07:00

I finally got around to getting a haircut on Saturday morning. I went to Rudy's and got this lady whom I've had before. I like her even though she looks kinda mean and says nothing to you when she is cutting your hair. I enjoy a hairdresser that doesn't force me to have awkward conversations and doesn't scold me for the things I do to my hair. I still want to get my hair lightened but maybe another day.

Then in the afternoon I went to Krysta and Kenneth's to celebrate Krysta's graduation with her masters degree. It was such a beautiful warm sunny day out. At around 6:45 I walked over to Amanda's which was conveniently 2 blocks from the bbq I was at for dinner. Amanda and her mom had been cooking up a storm to go with the giant bottle of wine Amanda received a few years back. It was a delightful and charming time. I unfortunately was a big giant dork and spilled gravely all over the table while breaking a glass. Totally lame and embarrassing.

I woke up on Sunday in a total funk and couldn't even get my self emotionally out of bed till the afternoon. I finally rolled out of bed and forced myself to walk to Boarders to use the 40% off coupon I had. I was all set to get some classic literature when I had a change of heart. I'm coming off reading some really depressing stuff so I decided to get some nice and trashy Anne Rice books. I think I just want something to escape into for a bit and I've never read any of her books before. I tried to sit and relax and read it last night but I have some new neighbors that moved in this weekend that were having an outside party with blaring Mexican music. I'm hoping they were just having a housewarming party and this isn't the norm. If it is I think I'm going to have to start looking for a new living situation.

2010-05-14T09:23:00.000-07:00

I have been buying cheap cute vintage sewing patterns lately. I haven't even made any of them yet. I should really get to it. I wish I had an extra room for sewing, that would make life easier. I just love all the illustrations though, they are so cute. When more people use to sew patterns us to be way more stylish and cute. Now they are mostly housewife frumpy. Hopefully you will see me in one of these creations soon.

Ladies and Gentlemen

2010-05-13T21:44:00.000-07:00

I am so sleepy from going out on a school. It really is too bad that I had to stay home on school nights back in school when I could have handled staying out late and then being fine the next day. Anyways, last night I went to Skybar in Hollywood for Ethan and Meredith's birthday celebration. I had never been there before. It was is a lovely outdoors happenin' place. I'm not sure I would generally really like the crowd but there were so many wonderful people there for the birthdays that is made the crowd a nicer place. I made a comment there that I think LA has the most ungentlemanly men I have ever met. They don't hold doors for ladies, they cut in front of you to the bar, they won't let you through when you are trying to get by. I mean I'm a modern girl but I think there is something important about being a gentleman and despite my occasional crassness I do my best to be a lady. I think it makes the world a more charming place. Anyways, this lady is tired and I might zonk out by 10 tonight.

2010-05-10T18:44:00.000-07:00

I had a fancy and fun weekend. On Friday night I went to The Natural History Museum for the First Friday of the Month night. You could walk the museum and have cocktails and listen to the live music and dj'ing, with free cupcakes, and lots of cool stuff. I've never been to that museum before and thought it was so cool. I loved the upstairs bird section. On Saturday afternoon I drove out to Topanga and found this amazing vintage silver necklace of the world that is so cute and has little bells or chimes inside that ring when you shack it. In the evening I went to the Otis Scholarship Benefit show at The Beverly Hilton that was super fancy. I got to dress up and walk the red carpet. My neighbor's children saw me leaving for the event and think that I am a movie star now haha. After that I went to The Village Idiot to celebrate Amanda and Renee's birthday. On Sunday I spent the day shopping at the farmer's market and watching movies at home. Lovely time. I hope to have better photos of the fashion show event soon.

2010-05-07T13:38:00.000-07:00

Trying to find a hairstyle I can to myself for tomorrow nights event. I came across this photo. I love this lady, she is so pretty, what style!

Make the Cut

2010-05-06T10:25:00.001-07:00

There is this nerdy aerobics instructor at my gym that looks a lot like a computer programmer. I've taken one of his classes before, he is good. He always wears an old t-shirt and some loose fitting shorts and has a bandana on top of his long wavy hair. I see him all the time for the last few years. I just look at him from across the room and think 'He should really cut his hair, it's really holding him back.' It really drove me kinda crazy. It is not that I have anything against men with longer hair but it has to be kept up. This guys hair was just gross and un kept and I wanted to sneak up behind him and cut it off. Well, after all these year he finally got a haircut and let me tell you he looks a thousand times better. I really should go up to him and tell him how much I like his haircut. Maybe I should get a haircut too, mine is getting kinda blah.

Berry Well Then

2010-05-05T20:54:00.001-07:00

I got these amazingly yummy raspberries, blackberries, and strawberries from the farmers market that I've been mixing with Greek Yogurt ever night. I froze half my berries because I was worried that I wouldn't be able to eat them all before they went bad. Boy was I wrong. I am gobbling this up like it was crack, wonderfully berry filled crack.

Swan Song

2010-05-03T23:06:00.000-07:00

Last Friday night I went to The Surly Goat for Liz's birthday party. I liked that place there was an actual mounted head of a goat that looked rather surly. On Saturday night I went to Kim and Ian's house warming party. They have a totally cute and charming house. On Sunday I went to the Hollywood farmers market for the first time. It was wonderful and my refrigerator is jammed packed with fresh fruits and veggies. Then before I knew it the weekend was over , boo. I have a black tie event to go to this weened and I was running inventory on what is in my closet I could wear. I was thinking about it at the gym and I remembered this beautiful white tulle 1950's dress I have. I got really excited about that and started styling it like something out of swan lake in my head. I come home tonight and try it on and it doesn't fit at all. So unless I can magically drop 8 lbs by the weekend I'm going to have to go with my bias cut black velvet dress. In my heart I want to be the white swan not the black swan. oh well

ifro

2010-05-01T00:26:00.000-07:00

I accidentally way over curled my hair so I decided to brush it out. Amazing, I never thought my hair could do this even if I tried.

Health and Wellness

2010-04-29T21:35:00.001-07:00

My dad was taken from the dialyses center to the ER again yesterday and then transferred to the Santa Barbabra hospital. Thankfully he is back home again today. I was pretty worried last night and didn't get much sleep. I've been working pretty hard at the gym this week. I realize most my body insecurities come from my mother's obsession with my weight and critical growing up. I also sort of realize now that in her heart she was just trying to keep me healthy so I don't end up in the same situation as my dad. I do appreciate now that she taught me about nutrition and exercise because in the end they are really important. Tack has just never been something she was terribly good at. Seeing all the pain and suffering my dad is going through now really motivates me to take good care of myself now.

Time After Time

2010-04-27T23:10:00.000-07:00

For the last 3 months I have been staying late at work almost every single day and after work I try my best to get to the gym for at least an hour. I usually get home around 9:30 and get between 1 or 2 hours before I go to sleep. I've tried not to think too much about it and just keep going. Today I left work before 6 and thus was able to have the energy to have this amazing workout that made me feel great and go home and have a bit more time just for me. It made me feel worlds better. I need to reevaluate my time management for sure. Because I had more energy today I switched my workout from all cardio to 1/2 cardio and 1/2 weights. I have a feeling I'm going to be pretty sore tomorrow but tonight I feel good :)

Bring In the Clowns

2010-04-26T23:08:00.000-07:00

So I was browsing the vintage etsy fabric. I keep an eye out for new listings pretty regularly. I haven't found anything I like recently. When I came across this listing for this piece of clown fabric. I instantly recoiled and shuttered. Then I couldn't get it out of my head how funny and awful it would be to make this fabric into a sexy little dress. I laughed it off but just couldn't stop thinking about it and started to obsess over it in my mind. Then I did the unthinkable, I bought it. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me, I HATE clowns. I think there has been a shift in my feelings towards clowns though. I think the clown fear craze has gotten so popular that I now find it slightly funny. Before when clowns felt like this cute, safe, happy form of entertainment I just couldn't understand it at all and thought they were grotesque and awful. Now that they seem to be so disliked I feel like I'm sort of routing for their horribleness. I don't know, maybe I'm just tired. I think I'm going to really regret this. No one is going to want to hang out with me when I wear this.

I Know my Velocity...slow

2010-04-25T21:18:00.000-07:00

I did it! I finally finished reading same book I have been reading off and on for the last half a year, Dave Eggers' "You Shall Know Our Velocity." It isn't a long book at all either. It just weighs so heavy on my heart and pains me but at the same time it's really good. Like many of his books it deals with sadness in all the little ways that feels like there is a tight grip on your heart that you worry will crush you but at the same time it's reassuring and beautiful. This book has the best first and last line I think I've ever read.

First line: "Everything within takes place after Jack died and before my mom and I drowned in a burning ferry in the cool tannin-tinted Guaviare River, in East-Central Colombia, with forty-two locals we hadn't yet met."

Last line: "It stopped for a minute I swear, but then the sound and pictures came back on and for two more interminable months we lived."

That is some wonderful writing there. Okay, next up maybe I will read something a bit lighter.

Hello Stranger

2010-04-24T11:12:00.000-07:00

I needed to take a bit of a blogging break but I'm back and ready to blabber about nothing. I think Facebook updates have killed my frequent posting. I hate how they break down my story to the most basic and simple form. I think modern technology has slowly been destroying my ability to write more then a sentence or break down communication to almost nothing. One of my favorite things in life is hearing everyday stories and telling my own. I don't want to loose that and I hate using the phone. In fact I was thinking that it has probably been about 10 years sense I actually wrote a handwritten letter. I will always remember back in the fall of 1999 I had many letter writing correspondence with friends that had went off to college. A year later everything turned into e-mail and the world changed forever. I'd love to write letters again. They are just so much more personal. I have to look into who would not be weirded out by receiving a personal letter from me haha For some reason writing has been the only medium I feel free enough to be completely honest in. Oh shoot, I have to run. I have a full day and evening of fun and friends, and you know what? I will write about it later. So stay tuned, lots more posting coming soon. Peace, Love, and Cookies

2010-04-18T20:19:00.000-07:00

I finished making another dress this weekend with some vintage fabric I bought on etsy. I really like this one and the weather has been getting so lovely out I can't wait to wear it!

2010-04-12T12:03:00.001-07:00

I haven't been keeping this blog up at all. Mostly I really feel like complaining and bitching about stupid superficial things and I just stop myself from posting that because I don't want to be so negative. I feel like I need a pep talk and pick me up. I feel like I have a lot of things bottled up and a lot of frustration in general. This is not to say that I haven't been doing lots of fun things and having a great time. I feel like I've come to a crossroad where that really isn't good enough to keep me going and I need something new and fulfilling. I just don't have a plan and I'm really not doing anything to solve this.

2010-03-30T23:34:00.000-07:00

This Fever Ray video is so haunting and beautiful.

If I Had A Heart from Fever Ray on Vimeo.

Fresno a Go-Go

2010-03-28T21:07:00.000-07:00

I had such a beautiful, wonderful weekend camping at Millerton Lake and visiting the Forestiere Underground Gardens.

2010-03-23T21:24:00.000-07:00

I've decided that I should also stop starting blog posts with "I've decided".

2010-03-23T21:21:00.000-07:00

I've decided that my secret porn star/stripper alas is Pristine Tiger. shhhhhh, no one will ever guess.

Cheese Please

2010-03-21T15:44:00.000-07:00

I decided awhile back that I was going to try a different cheese from Trader Joes each time I went in to get cheese. Unfortunately I have not been writing them down and I have forgotten which ones I've already tried, oops. However, today I found my new favorite. I am in love with the aged goat Gouda from Holland, it is so so yummy. With the nice weather I have been scoping out new foods for picnics. I can't wait for outdoor picnics and BBQs and sitting around eating and drinking with such wonderful people. I have been taking it very slow this weekend because I am starting to feel sick. I haven't crossed over to the really sick zone yet and I'm doing my best not to push myself there. Unfortunately taking it easy makes me feel like I'm missing out on all the fun, but I will have more fun if I don't get sick so I will sit around watch movies and eat my goat cheese which isn't all that bad of a thing ;)

2010-03-18T21:14:00.001-07:00

Working late then going to the gym like a good girl this week. I feel like I am a bit too dull to add anything interesting here. Tomorrow night my goal is to get home before 9pm.

A Bit of Inspiration

2010-03-16T20:12:00.000-07:00

"Women of the world today all dress alike. They are like so many loaves of bread. To be beautiful one must be unhurried. Personality is needed. There is too much sameness. The world seems to have only a desire for more of this sameness. To be different is to be alone." -Marchesa Luisa Casati.

Stripe It Rich

2010-03-14T23:46:00.000-07:00

So for the first time sense school I draped my own pattern from scratch and made a dress. I draped it last weekend and made the pattern. This weekend I sewed a mock-up and made corrections and then sewed the dress on the actual fabric. Here it is!

2010-03-10T21:23:00.001-08:00

If only I could remind myself that working out makes me happy post workout, how soon I forget. Anyways, the world is a happier place today. Also, who the hell do those little boys that "accidentally" walked into the women's locker room think they are fooling? haha

Two can be as bad as one

2010-03-09T22:34:00.000-08:00

Life is starting to feel like Bridget Jones' dinner with all the married couples. My odd number throws off the even number balance. Oh well, I like my odd number. None of this would even bother me if I haven't been stressed and working late thus not getting to the gym and making me a giant cranky pants. Besides the weekend life as been joyless as of late. Too tired for fun boo

Color Me Happy

2010-03-08T16:15:00.000-08:00

I decided to start sewing again. I bought some cheap fabric to start draping on my dress form this weekend. I've bought a few yards of vintage fabric that I want to make some things out of. Right now I'm working on the striped fabric. Hopefully I will have something to post soon. I think I've been in swimwear too long, everything I like is so bright and happy.

2010-03-04T20:11:00.001-08:00

Give Me Things and I will Make Other Things From Them

2010-03-04T09:23:00.000-08:00

Group effort! I made this skirt last week with the fabric Doug brought back for me from Africa and the pattern Lindsey gave me from I believe was her grandmothers sewing stuffs (I think).

Paradise Found

2010-03-03T23:25:00.000-08:00

After getting the latest Anthropologie catalog in the mail I had to look up where it was shot because I loved the locations. I was so surprised to learn it was Mexico. I am completely obsessed with this place now. I need to go there. Here is a video of it, the host is slightly irritating but whatever.